What Tammy Taught Me

She was an awkward girl, to put it mildly. Average height, for an eighth grader, her pear-shaped frame was accented by legs that reminded me of baseball bats; they had practically no shape as they narrowed their way down into what looked to be the latest in granny style shoes. Her long, greasy hair and coke-bottle glasses only sealed the deal for Tammy as your stereo typical "total dork".

It was obvious she was painfully aware of her title as she hardly ever uttered a word to anyone in our class. Her only friend, that I knew of, was an equally homely girl who was a few grades above her. I never considered myself to be the kind of person who would judge someone according to their appearance, but I wouldn't want to be seen talking to her either. I had my own insecurities that kept me from forging any kind of friendship with Tammy.

Boys will be boys and eighth grade boys have got to be the worst. Tammy never stood a chance. I don't remember a day going by when her books weren't knocked off her desk or the back of her chair wasn't kicked or something unkind wasn't said to her. She would try her best to defend herself but even that she couldn't do very proficiently. I always felt bad for her but never enough to say or do anything about it. Even as a Christian in a Christian school, my concern over my reputation as one of the "cool" kids outweighed my concern for Tammy as a human being.

It was the middle of Thanksgiving break when I got a phone call from a fellow classmate, Mike. The somber tone of his voice told me this wasn't a social call. "Tammy was on the way to her grandmother's house for Thanksgiving with her parents and brother" he said "when their car slid off the road and flipped, ejecting Tammy then landing on her. She's dead, Tammy's dead."

As his words came across the phone line, my mind played out the scenario in vivid detail. I saw her mother holding her in her arms, stoking her long blond hair and crying out for her baby; her father, trying desperately to free her from under the car, but only dropping into the snow in exhaustion and in surrender. My only solace was knowing that she slipped from one pair of loving arms into another.

They say that hindsight is 20/20. If I could have gone back, I would have. If only I would have known. If only we would have known. The truth was that Tammy, as unlovely as she seemed to us, was very loved by her Creator. He knit her together in her mother's womb. He intricately wove His glory into every fiber of her being and fashioned her into His majestic image. He knew her, he chose her, he loved her. He made her just who she needed to be - fearfully and wonderfully made.

Our entire class went to Tammy's funeral. The boys who had tormented her were there; now tormented with the guilt they would probably never be able to escape. They didn't get the chance to make amends and fix the cracks they caused in Tammy's broken heart. I was there and had a bit of guilt of my own, not for what I did but for what I didn't do.

We are all so quick to judge a book by its cover, to determine who does and who doesn't deserve our time and attention. But what Tammy taught me is that every person on this planet - red, yellow, black, white or purple, for that matter - is a person of value, a person of great worth because they were lovingly created by the hands of God. I think all of us have known a Tammy or two - I hope that someday, when my children meet their "Tammy", that they will be able to see what a true beauty she is.

The lyrics to a song I wrote:

Tammy Tell Me True

Your momma knew you were beautiful
with the bluest eyes she'd ever seen
Too bad we didn't see it
You know kids can be so mean

We only saw our differences
So much for the golden rule
Even if we didn't mean it
You know kids can be so cruel

Tammy tell me true
How bad did those words hurt you
Tell me how they made you feel
Did those wounds ever really heal
So awkward, so shy
Your daddy held you when you cried
You asked why, oh why...why

Was it really worth the hurt we caused
to get the crowd to laugh
No we can't fix the damage done
No we can't take back the past

The shocking news that you were gone
Hit like a ton of lead
It's too late to learn a lesson
When I'm sorry can't be said

Tammy tell me true
How bad did those words hurt you
Tell me how they made you feel
Did those wounds ever really heal
So awkward, so shy
Your daddy held you when you died
I ask why, oh why...why