God Calling

I was, what would be considered in this day and age, a child-bride. But at 21, I knew what I wanted - to be with the most amazing, handsome man I knew - Jason. We met in high school and after he graduated, he moved to Dallas to study at the Art Institute. The 4 years we spent in a long distance relationship were not easy on us. Jason would make the 3 and a half hour drive back to Tulsa every weekend so we could spend some time together. I was living at home with my parents and sister. In those 21 years, I don't remember spending more than a few weeks away from them at any given time. They were my life and up until Jason entered the picture, nothing had meant enough to draw me away.

On April 19th, 1997, Jason and I were married. The day after returning to Tulsa from our honeymoon, we packed up the car and prepared to drive away to our new life in Dallas. I sat in the passenger seat and as Jason closed his door, I looked out the window to see my mom, dad, sister and grandparents standing there. Their sadness poorly veiled behind forced smiles. I waved goodbye the entire length of the long circle drive in front of the house where I grew up. We drove down the beautiful tree-lined street leading away from my home and everything I had ever known. The tears started streaming down my face in a continuous flow. I turned my head and stared hard out the side window so Jason wouldn't see.

This began a pattern for the next few months or so of our young married life. Jason actually thought he was going to have to return me and get his money back. I cried almost every night. I was with the man I loved, but so lonely for what was familiar that it completely outweighed the fleeting moments of marital bliss. At some point during that time, I discovered a book I had been given titled God Calling. It was a book written by two women in the 1930's who wrote down the things they would hear from God. It was assembled in daily devotional form and I would read it every now and then. This particular day, Jason had left for work as usual and I found myself feeling desperately lonely again. From our third floor apartment window I watched the other residents enjoying themselves at the pool just below me. I was a shy person and didn't want to venture out to make friends with complete strangers, but I longed to know someone, anyone who might make me feel like I had a connection to this place.

Overwhelmed with sadness I threw myself on the bed in our guest room. "God, I just want a friend" I cried, "I just need a friend." Through blurry eyes I saw the book lying next to me. I turned it to the day's reading - June 25th. The title for that day was "God's Companionship" and it opened with the words "I am your friend." With that a rushing flood of joyful tears filled my eyes, drowning the loneliness and leaving in it's wake a refreshing, calming peace.

I had known Jesus as Lord since the age of 4, but I was now entering into a new time in my life where I would get to know Him as friend. What an amazing time that was. A time of discovering who I am and who God is. Learning daily how to depend on Him to meet the desires of my heart and developing a love affair that far out ways anything this life has to offer.

What a friend we have in Jesus...

Link: God Calling