I need to be completely transparent here... my physical appearance was always very important to me. I think it had a lot to do with insecurities I pick-up in elementary school. There were times when I was told something about me was ugly. This only furthered my already excruciating timidity, causing me to feel nearly invisible on the playground. I thought I wasn't special enough to get the kind of attention other girls in my class got. We girls all wanted to be their BFFs and all the guys wanted to be their boyfriends.
Fast forward a few years past braces and satellite bangs and I discovered just how significant being physically attractive can make you feel. Suddenly I became that one of "those" girls and it felt amazing. When I would go out, I could even get stuff for free if a guy was working the register. It made me feel valuable, powerful and the kind of "special" I had always hoped to be. Needless to say, this lead to hyper self-focus and actually multiplied my deepest insecurities. It became all about me.
Super fast forward once again to the dressing room. I was now a mom of 4. This was no longer the girl who could turn heads at the beach staring back at me. Gone were toned, tight abs now. No more picture-perky hiney. I glanced down to the skin on my stomach which looked like the folds of an accordion...and that was only if I was sucking in...hard. The cha-cha's? Now "socks and rocks". The stretch marks, the cellulite, the c-section scar. They were all scars. I wasn't what I used to be and never would be again. Why Lord, why?" I whined in my self pity. For someone who found so much of their value in how they look, this moment was about to be devastating. Until, He spoke these words into my heart...
"You see, your body bares the scars of giving life...
and so does mine."
and so does mine."
Whoa...Wait a minute. What? Did He just say that?
I never looked at it that way. Now I have no excuse! I can no longer whine or complain. I can not look in the mirror with dread and disgust. I can only see these scars as beautiful reminders! If there was ever anything in life worth the price of these scars, it was my own precious children's lives. I would die for these little people just like He did for me! These scars represent death to self and life to others! Reminders that Jesus loved us so much that He was willing to die for us, and He bares the scars to prove it! Could there ever be anything more beautiful?
"Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." Prov. 31:30
